What every person wants…and money has almost nothing to with with it

What every person wants…

There is a lot of talk out there about what everyone wants, men and women, children, leaders, laborers, clerks and managers. We manage to talk about how each one wants something different until we just walk away from the discussion, shaking our heads, not having gained any ground. Yet, from experience, and I am reminding you of your own experience, not just mine, we all want one one thing: respect. And we want that respect not just for our existence, but for our knowledge and experience. Striving for respect is what makes us try harder.

There is the opposite of respect, disrespect, that can demoralize a person in a heartbeat.  Yet you can take that very same circumstance, handle it slightly differently, and you can boost the morale of that person and others around them.

Lessons are best learned from a story format, and so this is the story of two different managers, supervisors, whatever you want to call them.

Jerry had messed up on the job. He knew he had messed up when he did it. When Mark, his supervisor, found out about it (through other people) he went through the roof and hammered Jerry verbally in front of his co-workers and other supervisors. Jerry got defensive saying “I didn’t know how to do it any differently.” which only caused Mark to belittle him more, saying he should have asked and there is no dumb question and used several other cliches which people just tuned out. Jerry was thoroughly embarrassed. He had tried to do his best but it had not worked out and he was trying to learn how not to do this again, but the result was – disrespect. Which stung Jerry. And it showed when he went home. His wife asked him to tell her about his day. She knew there was an issue.  Co-workers were just glad they hadn’t received the tongue lashing.

In a different department, Roger screwed up. Roger went directly to his boss, Jaime, who dealt with the situation  a little differently. Jaime started by asking Roger “Why had this happened?” Jaime knew who was at fault, but he had two other priorities: 1) make sure the repair was done properly and 2) make sure that future repairs of that same type were done without incident.

The truth is, Jaime’s priorities should have been Mark’s as well. Here is how Jaime handled the situation. First, after checking around he discovered that no one else was qualified to make the repair. So he took Roger into his office and did a little training by first letting Roger know that they might discuss the situation more later, in private, but that right now they really had to get this repair done, and so he, Jaime, was going to work with Mark to make sure it got done right. He made sure that this was training, and that Mark was not to feel like he was being micro-managed.

What do you think the results were once Mark successfully made the repair? The word got out that Jaime really isn’t a bad sort of person. In fact, he would help if you just asked. So, even though Mark felt bad for screwing up, he gained new knowledge by learning how to effect the repair and he gained respect for his boss. As word spread, both Mark and Jaime’s levels of respect went up among the crew. And people felt safer going to Jaime before there was an incident.

Mark, on the other hand, still struggles with “those idiots that don’t ask…and what were they thinkin’?”

So what’s your management style?
How much do you respect your people?
How much do you think they respect you? Or, asked another way, do they feel safe enough to talk to you before issues become unmanageable?

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  • Poor Jerry! I think the opposite of respect is not always ‘disrespect’; most of the time it is also ‘disregard’. Disregard is what happens in a work culture where employees are not motivated when they do something good and also when they are disrespected for minor failings. By not playing regards to the time and effort they spend in your workplace, the virtues of respect are always ceased. Sad but this is the reality these day.
    Thanks for sharing such a thoughtful post 🙂

    • Bart Gragg


      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Are there any subjects you would like to see more discussion on? Or missing subjects?