Imagine you are standing in the emergency room of your local trauma center and you're watching a man on a gurney. This man is overweight and under-dressed — not under-dressed as in low class, but wearing what they call a one-size-fits-all gown. It doesn't. He's exposed and he's feeling it.
I was 38 years old when I ended up in the ER, not as a witness, but as a patient with a suspected heart attack. I was way too young. The doctor smiled as he came in, looked at my chart, and asked, "What brings you in here today?"
I said, "The advice nurse thought I might have had a heart attack."
He said, "Let's get some background. Tell me your story."
My Story
As an operations manager for a specialty refinery repair and service company, working 10-hour days was a treat, and 12-hour days normal. The effects of working eighteen-hour days, drinking a pot of coffee every morning, two liters of soda every afternoon, and smoking two packs of cigarettes every day had taken their toll.
The doctor said, "Good news — no heart attack. But this is a massive wake-up call. You need to make a change or the next time your story may not end so well."
The next morning my boss and crew were gathered in my office. On my desk were a hot cup of coffee, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, a clean ashtray, and a copy of Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence People. My boss looked at me, shook his head, said, "No more Mr. Bad Guy — learn to deal with people," and then they all walked out.
I was in trouble not because of my technical skills, not because of my work ethic, not because of my production. I was in trouble because I didn't know how to deal with people. I was failing because I didn't understand what it takes to be a good manager or leader.
Michael's Story
Fast forward to 2006. I was sitting in my office one morning working on a draft of the workbook that would eventually become Blue Collar University®. The phone rang. A panicked voice said, "I think my boss is going to fire me. Can you help me?"
That panicked voice belonged to a young man by the name of Michael. I said, "Michael, I need some history here. Tell me your story."
Michael had worked his way up from laborer to apprentice to journeyman pipefitter. He was then promoted to manager because he was good at his job, technically. His first evaluation said: "Michael has met none of the criteria for being a manager in this company. He has ninety days to get his act together."
I asked him, "What do you most want from this job?"
He said, "Respect. Respect for a job well done."
Michael has changed his story. With coaching, mentoring, self-discipline, and constantly learning, he now runs a region that spans one-fourth of the state of California. And he mentors other managers that aren't even in his region.
Your Story
Everyone has a story. When people talk about their boss, they tell stories about them. So if you are in a leadership position, people are talking about you. They're telling stories about you.
The question is — are they telling a story you want your family and friends to hear? Would they be proud of you? Are you proud of your story?
If not, here are three questions you can answer to change your story:
- What is your story? Take five minutes and write out a paragraph, phrases, or words that people would use to talk about how you deal with people.
- What do you need to do to change your story?
- What are you willing to do to change your story?
You can't change your history. You can change your future.